How To Deal With A Person Who Lies?

Dealing with a person who lies is never easy. You never know when to believe your words and when not to. It is also not possible to trust the person in any aspect.

The problem is that sometimes there is no alternative. For reasons of force majeure, contact with this person is inevitable.

Lies are like emotional fraud. They generate great discomfort, as the victim of lies feels disappointed. In addition to being manipulated. That’s a bad precedent for sustaining a bond with someone.

Some lie to pretend. Others because they feel ashamed or are afraid to show themselves as they are. There are also those who tell lies to take advantage of deception.

The reasons can be many, but none of them are valid. Dealing with a person who lies is difficult, but there are a few ways to do this. See below.

Evidence, a way of dealing with a person who lies

Once someone is found to lie regularly, there are several paths. One of them is to move away from that person. However, it is not always a possible choice. Whether it’s a co-worker, our partner or a boss, there’s often no option.

In any case, it is important to decide to confront a liar.

The best way to deal with a person who lies is to confront him. For this it is necessary to gather evidence. While it sounds a bit extreme, it’s good to write down every single one of the lies the person tells. Seek evidence of falsehood and have it all at hand. When you’ve gathered a fair amount of evidence, it’s time to move on to the next step.

Expose the discoveries

Dealing with a person who lies requires tact. You cannot just bluntly expose falsehoods. The result can be counterproductive.

• The best thing in these cases is to be prudent and understanding. Every human being deserves a second chance.
• It is appropriate to call that person into a private conversation. Then, in a calm tone, explain what has been observed. Make her notice that there are inconsistencies between what she says and reality and try to establish an effective communication process. This is what this study by the National University of Altiplano (Peru) suggests, which highlights the importance of good interpersonal communications to create a satisfactory relationship with others.
• Try not to judge the person, but explain that the goal is to understand them. The situation should not be used to attack, but to have a mature conversation.

understand the reasons

It’s good to get that person to explain their reasons. Never know. There are cynical liars, but there are also the very tormented ones.

It could be a person who doesn’t accept your truth because he devalues ​​himself. Or it could be someone who enjoys deceiving others or who has some kind of disorder… there are multiple causes, as this study carried out by the Federal University of Paraíba (Brazil) demonstrates. Whatever the case, it is important to invite the person to justify their behavior.

Those people of good character will use the occasion to apologize for lying. However, whoever seeks to do harm will deny all evidence against himself. Will try to keep lying.

try to make a pact

It is important to make clear that lies undermine trust. This must be said directly to the person who lies. Express what consequences your lies generate.

Say what it feels like to be cheated by someone. In addition to emphasizing that trust is not so easily regained.

What follows is trying to make a sincerity pact thereafter. The covenant should not be expected to be fulfilled one hundred percent. A liar doesn’t change overnight.

What is important is to verify that there is actually an intention to fulfill the pact. It is necessary to give time to it.

Understand that no one can change anyone

Facing a person who is a liar takes a big step. Those who lie will realize that others notice. You will understand that you may be able to cheat once, but that sooner or later you will be discovered.

This will make the person reflect and, at best, try to change.

For those who confront, the situation is also positive. It is an act of sincerity, focused on the pursuit of the common good. It will demonstrate that you are not being deceived.

A liar will always be much more prudent and honest with someone who has already confronted him.

In any case, it is important to be aware that no one can change anyone. In many cases, confrontation and good advice cannot change the other person. It is everyone who must decide how to act.

In fact, there are pathological liars who can only deal with the problem with professional help, but each is responsible for their own actions and not for the actions of others.