How To Fight Sibling Fights
Discovering the arrival of a sibling is always disconcerting, even for children who have asked for a baby brother for their parents. Everything that was normal changes with the arrival of the new baby. Among the upcoming changes are sibling fights.
Children have reason to antagonize their siblings. They bring with them a series of situations that range from sharing their parents’ time and love, to sharing toys or a room with each other.
It doesn’t matter if they are near or distant ages, know that there will be fights between siblings. It will then be up to us to play the role of parent, mediator or arbiter. It won’t be easy, but it will make your children recognize that a sibling is the ideal friend inherited from their parents.
fights between brothers
A kind of “animal territoriality” warning develops in children who yell, insult, and contradict everything their siblings say, in order to be noticed within “the herd.” In this case, the family.
Fights between siblings are common. This is a fact. Our role is to set the limits so that children know that the family space can be harmonious, in addition to preventing them from becoming difficult adults. To do this, consider the following recommendations.
1. Respect as the first limit
Teach your children that respect is not negotiated. This value must be the first within the family and even more among siblings.
Under no circumstances should they disrespect each other through insults about their person, their characteristics or physical condition, much less violence.
The moment you stop a fight between siblings, make the importance of respect clear. Be firm: children need to understand that respect is important and that it is a limit that should not be crossed, no matter how upset they are with each other.
2. Reflection and apology
The moment you intervene in the fight, you must make them see what they did. It should make them reflect on what happened. Not only about what triggered the fight, but also try to establish emotional connections between them.
If they fight over a toy, show the importance of sharing it with a sibling. Then, they must apologize and forgive, no matter the size of the “offense”. No fight can be so big that you cannot forgive your brother.
3. Invite them to solve the problem
It is important to give children tools to resolve their own conflicts. In the case of the brothers, it is even more necessary for them to know that problems must be resolved without going beyond the limits of respect or using violence.
Dialogue and negotiation must be the way to resolve their differences. If the situation becomes greater, before attacking each other, they should ask for help from their parents or other trusted adults.
Establishing clear boundaries will allow them to extrapolate their abilities to resolve conflicts in other aspects of life, which will lead to better relationships with friends, teachers and family.
4. Empathize with each other
In the child’s reflection process, it is important to teach him the exercise of empathy or “putting yourself in the other’s shoes”. This is essential for them to understand their brother’s position, what he felt, what it was that affected him. It is the best way to avoid future conflicts.
The key question we must ask is: “What would you feel if you were instead of your brother?” This exercise is positive for many of the future aspects of your children’s lives.
5. Create familiar spaces
One of the beneficial tools to fight sibling fights is to create spaces for recreation and family entertainment. These moments allow children to relax, come together and share time with their parents and each other.
Perhaps, at first, you will encounter some resistance and have some arguments. Separating them and talking for a moment with each one will calm everything down again.
6. Patience and more patience
To continue with a happy life with your children, apply great doses of calm and patience in the face of these fights. No doubt there will be times when you will feel a great weariness, you will even think of yourself as a parent, and you may even feel sad.
However, don’t lose your cool. Everything will pass and will be fine. When you feel your patience slipping away, stop and take an extra dose. You may. If the fights get out of control, do not hesitate to seek support from a psychology professional.
parents are key players
For relationships between children to be healthy, parents must equally devote love, attention and time to each other. It is essential not to differentiate between them.
The distinctions some parents make between their children split the family relationship. These generate antagonistic and competitive relationships between siblings, which can reach adulthood.
All children are the same in one thing: Mom and Dad are the center of their world. We must understand it as parents. It is necessary to avoid thinking that, because one is bigger than the other, he will no longer demand the love he used to receive.
Final considerations
Fights between siblings are natural up to one point:
- They are a mechanism to mark one’s place within the family.
- Help to develop personality.
- They help you learn to control your emotions.
- Strengthen self-esteem.
Of course, as long as they have proper parental guidance.
Is the sibling fight scheme exhausting? Of course. However, timely guidance will help them find the best solution to resolve their conflicts.
Of course, everyone who has siblings knows how important they are. Furthermore, it is even possible to enjoy the “big fights” of childhood as fond memories.
Finally, it is part of parenting to teach them to appreciate the extraordinary blessing of having one or more siblings.
