Injured People Hurt Others

Maybe they’ve hurt you on more than one occasion, but have you ever stopped to think about the reason behind this type of behavior? We never think about what might have happened to the other person to act like this. However, injured people often act this way.

Sometimes this happens because they put up with so much, that everything they felt turned into a grudge that doesn’t discriminate between those who treat them well and those who don’t.

Other times they simply try to protect themselves in such an incorrect way. Without realizing it, they  hurt others before they hurt them.

The injured people suffered a lot

We’ll show you several examples that will help you understand why injured people do this.

• Imagine that a child has been abused since childhood and also saw how one of his parents was abused. Without knowing it, the little one will believe that this is “normal” and, therefore, will reproduce the behavior.
• Even if you cry, despite feeling pain, in adulthood you may mistreat your partner or exert violence against those who oppose him. It’s the pattern of behavior he’s seen since he was little.
• In the case that this type of aggression only reproduces in adulthood, perhaps the person will try to behave in the same way in future relationships to prevent this from happening to him.
• Inside, she thinks: “better the other than me again”.

The same happens with those who had some kind of affective need. In their relationships, they will become attached and suffer from terrible emotional dependency. 

In what ways is this a problem?

Jealousy, the need to control our partner so that he doesn’t abandon us, guilt, making the partner responsible for our happiness…

In the end,  the other person ends up worn out as they find themselves submerged in a toxic relationship.

What to do in front of injured people?

We really  can’t try to change these people. Sometimes they know they can’t go on like this and are aware of what they’re doing wrong.

However, it is their decision and something that others cannot resolve. Their behavior, for the most part, is not premeditated.

So, what can we do in front of this type of person so that they don’t hurt us? Here are some solutions:

• Don’t get closer than necessary.  Sometimes they will try to manipulate you, sometimes you will discover your past and feel sorry for them. However, you are important and you have to take care of yourself.
• If you wish, approach them, but not more than necessary. When you’re at the limit, back off.
• Avoid acting like them. They are hurt and,  if you act in the same way, it will help them to continue behaving like that,  and even make their self-esteem more damaged.
• If you notice that they try to hurt you, turn around.
• Don’t tell them what to do. Nobody can help another person if they don’t want help. So if you want to avoid wearing yourself out and trying in vain, don’t tell them to seek professional help, much less try to direct your way of being.

accept them

Your best option will be to accept hurt people as they are. Everyone has been hurt at one time, and maybe we’ve even hurt someone unintentionally.

Our survival instinct doesn’t always act properly. He doesn’t know values, nor norms, nor rules. He just wants you to survive and get over what happened.

So, don’t look askance at that boy who annoys another at school, as this one lacks great self-esteem and perhaps has thousands of problems at home.

The ideal would be to  stop this behavior and try to correct it now while there is still time, since when we reach adulthood it is more difficult.

In maturity, only we ourselves can open our eyes,  realize what is happening and ask for help to change and stop hurting others.